Maybe I’m not the world’s most knowledgeable about music. Actually, I’m far from it. I’m well aware. However, I’ve been enjoying Miranda Lambert’s newest album. Her voice isn’t too girly. Of course she sounds nothing like a man. It’s a personal opinion of mine that male voices are more appealing, so being that her voice isn’t high pitched is a positive in my book.
When I first heard this song, “Only Prettier,” I loved the last line. Hence the title of this posting. It’s odd for me to pay attention to anything I’m listening to, so why this lyric? Well, you could say it’s because I’m not skinny. If you decided that was the reason, you’d be right in the assessment of my weight, but not as the direst reason. I really like that she’s able to do what she wants because it’s what she wants. And, honestly, when you’re happy, you’re more beautiful than any diet or any amount of makeup could create. It makes me sad that so many people seem to forget or simply bypass the truth behind beauty.
So, what makes you happy? I’m not sure I always can answer that question, I’m not sure I could answer it now. Maybe it’s an easier question to answer when you’re actually happy. Last night I had a talk with my roommate, whose uncle recently committed suicide. She was neither close nor well known to this relative, but it was still sad. We eventually ended up on the topic of depression. I told her a story about myself from when I was 16, one I share with very few people. I am not ashamed of the story, I just am wise enough to know that not everyone can understand what happened and why I made the choices I made at the time. To be completely honest, the story may have made her incredibly uncomfortable and strange, but hopefully it didn’t. I told her how in the month following my tonsillectomy I found it hard to find even the motivation for a shower. There were a few weeks where my showers were separated by at least a week. I think things have gotten a little better. But, I don’t really know either.
Last I posted, I was headed to Missoula. Initially these appointments were made to have my regular check up with an endocrinologist and then to make sure my tonsils have healed. I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am the ER gave me a copy of my blood test results when I was there a couple weeks ago. It gave me the time to see how many of my numbers weren’t right. It gave me time to realize this endo appointment may be just a bit longer. I am just so glad. I’m one of those people who like to “know.” Had I been blindsided with the idea that so much of my body and its systems hates me, I may have fallen apart in his office. But I knew going in things were off, I came in with a list of questions. The appointment lasted two hours and was followed by a trip to the lab for some bloodwork to further investigate my body’s hatred. Continue reading