So, on World Diabetes Day I asked my sister to write about what my diabetes meant to her. She actually read the post and tried to look up diabetes info. (Some of the stuff she said she learned didn’t make any sense…but I don’t know everything and it’s sweet she’s trying to learn)
I have something written about my father, but I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to publicly post that. What if I ask a question and don’t get an answer? Meh. Maybe later this week, after a few revisions.
My family is pretty complicated, but rather entertaining – usually only if you’re not involved though. AND my best friend, Liz, has been my family on more than one occasion and helped me see the entertainment value in my family many many times.
Actually, at lunch today my mom and I were discussing relationships and diabetes. The context of our conversation was that of dating…and I’m most certainly not dating Liz (since she’s a woman and all), BUT, she came up. The thing that’s hard about dating with diabetes is that I don’t exactly know where the balance lies. How much should you tell, should you not tell, is it okay to be low, is it okay to be high, etc, etc. Not that I’ve had a great deal of experience dating with diabetes…or without diabetes, but none of my relationships has seemed to have room for diabetes. Either it’s too much, too little, or just awkward. Here’s where Liz comes in…I’ve known her for 3 years now, I don’t ever recall a time of us sitting down and having a talk about or centered around diabetes. She knows it’s there, I know it’s here, lows and highs suck, carb counting happens and life with diabetes is mostly annoying. It’s never been taboo for us, it just is. It’s nice to have people who maybe don’t understand, but don’t really care. She obviously cares about me getting sick or having diabetic issues…but she doesn’t see me as a diabetic. She sees me as smashtastic…because that’s what I am 🙂 …if only all people and relationships could be like that.
Before my day went completely haywire (dentist, oral surgeon, errands, pump/CGM calls, paying bills, 2 trips to the pharmacy, lunch and after 25-27hrs of being awake…sleep), this post was going to be about someone else that has meant the world to me. …my foster mom
Like I said, my family is complicated. Sometimes it’s funny and entertaining and sometimes it’s heartbreaking and sucky.
As most of you probably know, my schedule tOtally sucks most days – see aforementioned 25-27hr day. There’s one really great thing about my schedule…shocking, I know…I get to see my foster mom once, usually twice a week. She was my mom when I didn’t feel like I had one, she was a listening ear when I felt unheard, she was a coach when I felt discouraged and lost, she was love when I felt like I had none. It’s a long story, and probably doesn’t need to be rehashed – since I ramble it may come out anyway. When I was moved from her and my foster dad’s home there was no real goodbye, they weren’t told where I was going and it was court ordered for there to be no contact between us. Then when I was reunited with my parents they felt uncomfortable with us having contact. In 2008 I saw them for the first time in six years. Well, mostly, through random events, fate maybe – if you believe in that, we’ve run into each other on occasion. When I lived in Arizona we kept in contact over the phone off and on. But, there hasn’t been a great deal of contact. Now that I work at the gym overnight a couple days a week I get to see my foster mom regularly. We don’t have long conversations…short, but it’s SO incredible to have her back in my life again. She knew me a few years before I was diagnosed with diabetes, she knows I have diabetes, like Liz though, it’s not a big thing. She knows, I know, but it’s not the first topic of discussion every week. Back in February, when I first started working at the gym, I ran into my foster dad…just once, but it was exciting to see him too. Not to be all sappy and everything…but these two people (along with their daughter and my foster sisters) gave me my first glimpse of what a family meant and I will always love them for that, regardless of how often or infrequently we speak.
By the way freunde means friends and familien is families, both in German. FamilieS because I don’t have just one, I guess you could say I’m lucky because I get to have multiple. 🙂 Also, und is and in German…in case you didn’t know that either. I don’t know why I’m on such a family kick lately…maybe the holidays?