It’s an AWEsome one! Every single day is the best! It seems to be all the rage in magazines and health media. Come one, join in!
If you too, want a “diabetic lifestyle” this is what you must do:
- Spend a fortune at the pharmacy, every month
- Attach yourself to a $6k electronic device 100% of the time, spending a fortune and a half maintaining its attachment
- Carry meter around 100% of the time. Not just ANY meter. A meter with test strips ($$$$), testing solution (to ensure it reads properly) and hundreds of used test strips in the side pockets (it’s what ALL the coolest diabetic lifestylers d0)
- Learn to navigate Calorie King, maybe even buy the book!
- Experience at least TWO diabetic headaches a week. I think you’re allowed to have both from the high category or both from the low category, so long as you have at least TWO. Be prepared to feel like your head is in a vice or an ax is placed nicely somewhere in your skull.
- You get to be exhausted. No, you’re not required to stay up all the time. But between highs, lows, carb counting (OH! I’ll touch on that next), basal/lantus rates, bolus ratios, random beepings and more “lifestyley” things you’re bound to be exhausted.
- Count EVERY carb you put in your mouth. That piece of bread you see there, no longer just a piece of toast, it’s: 16 carbs and 1.7units of insulin.
- Drink juice. Carry juice boxes EVERYWHERE. Yes, people stare at you in the grocery store as you stock up on 10 packages of your desired flavor or flavors of juice, because you don’t look like you’re purchasing them for children and why in the world that many?!?!
- Develop scars on the tips of at least 3 fingers, most likely 6. It’s a great thing all us diabetic lifestylers LOVE! We prick ourselves and make ourselves bleed 6-8 times daily.
- Bikini wearers beware! You’re more than likely to get some scarring on that precious flat tummy of yours. Oh, and the flat tummy, that’s likely to go away too…gotta love that insulin.
- Become a band-aid aficionado. Pump sites bleed. Injection sites bleed. Fingertips refuse to stop bleeding. And any other injury you incur probably won’t stop bleeding either…or at least it won’t heal very quickly.
- Get to know your pharmacist, you’ll see them regularly. Be nice to them and they may be nice to you.
- Go to the doctor every 3 months, or more. Most likely more. Befriend your doctors too.
- Get comfortable “donating blood” on a regular basis. It won’t go to the people in need in the hospital, it’s just going to the local lab.
- Develop an understanding that some form of “complication” is going to hit. Neuropathy, retinopathy, cholesterol problems or a million others.
- When you do get sick/develop an issue it’s likely going to be blamed on this lifestyle SO many seem to be desiring…it’s an exciting bonus too!
There are many more things you must to do live this “diabetic lifestyle” but I have a few questions:
#1: How in the world do you plan on living this lifestyle?!?!
You really can’t unless you’re FORCED! No doctor in his right mind will pull blood frequently or prescribe test strips, insulins and the plethora of other diabetes related medications. NO insurance company will give you a pump. And no SANE person would wear an insulin pump unless it was needed.
#2: What in the HELL are you doing wanting to live like this?
Oh wait, no one wants to, that’s why it’s NOT a lifestyle. It’s a way people HAVE to live in order to SURVIVE!
Though, if you’re still interested, please click below to sign up!