To Be Someone’s Gain

A while back Crystal (who is absolutely FANtasmic and wonderful) were talking. As women, our conversation occasionally touches on relationships and men. Actually, I don’t even think that’s a woman thing…it’s a HUMAN thing, we’re relational creatures. OF COURSE we talk about relationships…friends, family, pets, strangers! Back on topic…

(I really need to learn to focus)

I honestly cannot remember if I said it to her, or she said it to me, but one of us said “well, that’s his loss.” It made me think…I want to be someone’s gain.

Initially my thought related to romantic relationships. My friends think I’m great (unless they’re lying to me), my family doesn’t hate me (at least most don’t dislike me…I hope), so if some guy is “losing” me…why can’t I be some guy’s gain? That was the path to my initial arrival at the goal of being a “gain.”


With further thought, I’d like to be everyone’s gain. EVERY person I interact with, whether it be a short period or a long period. The checkout lady at the grocery store or my best friend. I want to inspire people to be the best they can be, to exceed their personal potential, to strive for the best. Maybe I don’t have full control over the length or type of relationship I have with strangers throughout my day, but I do have some control of our interaction.

I don’t mean this as naive or mushy or overly hopeful. What I mean is that I want to be an addition, not a drag. A bright spot in someone’s day. Doing something or saying something that inspires positivity.

Yes, one day I want to be married, have a family, yada, yada. Maybe one day it’ll happen. Until then (IF it does), I think I can be satisfied with knowing I am a gain in the people I know’s lives.

Even more, those men this thought spawned from…who’s to say I wasn’t their gain? Maybe I don’t talk to them anymore, maybe we’re not as close. But I can hope I had some influence on them. Perhaps in a goofy way. But I’m totally okay with adding goofyness and laughter to someone’s life – friend, family, or stranger.

Can my conquering a phone call inspire another to do the same?

“Inspire” is a strong word. While I’d LOVE to inspire someone, let’s be realistic about this…the only person I inspire is my cat…to take a nap because I have a comfortable lap. He’s not even a person, so even that probably doesn’t count. So when I say inspire, don’t think grandeur thoughts, think on a small scale…a smile, writing a letter to my grandmother weekly (which I need to get back in the habit of doing…it’s been a bit, but sent one Monday)…just being someone nice to be around. Each of us can be, and each of us are, I just want to be content with it. Content without becoming complacent.

Content with inspiring my cat to take a nap, but not stopping there. Maybe next I’ll inspire my dog to stop being a punk and attacking the cat.

…Something to aspire to…


About smashleeca

I am a lot of things...a Californian, a T1 diabetic, a Crohn's pt, a daughter, friend, former athlete, forever student, blogger, worker, and most of all life-embracer. That sounds corny...but I'll leave it. I'm just your average 24 y/o girl with a story to tell. View all posts by smashleeca

2 responses to “To Be Someone’s Gain

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