Nashville

I’ve been there once.

I spent a week there in June. It was a great, drama-free week…until my last 9hrs. Then someone hit my rental car in a parking lot and didn’t leave a note. A kind stranger did, though it lacked some essential information, but it was MUCH appreciated. I also found the situation at about 3am. Yes, that’s THREE in the morning. I didn’t sleep at all, missed my flight, got delayed 3hrs on the next flight, missed my connecting flight and got back to CA approx 9hrs after the original plan. …it was quite a day. A nice farmer almost made me cry when he gave me a free peach at the farmer’s market…I don’t normally cry, it was due to my over-exhaustion. However, I was incredibly grateful and touched.

In spite of my limited knowledge and experience in Nashville, it’s becoming my new home.

Yep, home.

That’s huge for me. I haven’t felt at “home” anywhere since I was a kid. 16 years ago kind of kid. I had a “home” 11 years ago, but I wasn’t there very long. I feel like I’ve always been in transition. Now, I have a home.

Or at least that’s the plan. Looking at experience, plans are a bad idea…in my case. But I’m moving forward with faith and hope this is THE plan. The plan that’s going to be…finally.

I feel like it’s pretty solid since I have very few plans for this “plan”.

Things have kind of fallen together.

Very fast.

Very, very fast.

In June I was in Nashville for work. I had gotten a new job, a REAL job. I haven’t had a decent, full-time, grown-up job in 6 years. Craziness!

Back on topic: While in Nashville for work, I inquired about what the process may be to relocate to the TN office. It was kind of a far away dream, a “maybe someday” thing.

They advised me to speak to a couple people in the SF office. And, it’s about time I grew a pair, so I gathered the braveness I could, and asked. The first answer was “Yeah, definitely, that’d be great! Who knows when though, maybe a month, maybe a year.”

Woah, woah, woah! I laughed when I was told a month.

A couple weeks went by and there was no mention of timing or a plan. So I brought it up again, with a more direct supervisor. Who was on board and we came up with the plan of December/January.

Quick, but not too quick.

…a week later they came to me and said they’d like me to move in September. Ideally the first week, the second week would be fine, but definitely by the third.

Say what?!

I asked for a couple days to think about it, look at my finances, etc. They agreed, and cautioned me that time was of the essence.

Two days later, I agreed.

The week after getting back from Nashville I bought a car. So, I now have something reliable to move across the country in. I’ve gotten roommates. I’m in the process of getting a mattress. I’ll be starting work the day after Labor Day…in Nashville.

Could this finally be my move out of California?! I’ve waited so long for this. SO long.

I’m excited: this will be an awesome adventure, I’ll finally be able to start my life, I’ll be somewhere I WANT to be, it means my family and I will be on better terms (I hope), it’s a new season in my life.

I’m scared: every time I’ve left CA or tried to leave CA something falls apart (diabetes, getting disowned, Crohn’s, tonsils), I’ll be 2200mi away from where I grew up, I’ll be on my own.

I’m nervous. I’m happy.

Hopefully, life agrees with the plan. You know what they say about plans and God laughing…it’s the story of my life. Though, I feel like while I’ve been working really hard to get everything set up, I haven’t been doing much planning. Maybe planning isn’t the word, I haven’t been doing much to force the plan. I decided what I wanted to do, felt out the waters, dove in and it’s all coming together.

Moyer and I will be beginning our lives in Tennessee.

It’s really strange for me to think of him in Tennessee. He’s spent all three years of his life in California and now I’m taking him to Tennessee. I wonder if he’ll forget CA. Or if he’ll like TN. Or if I’ve babied him too much and he’s a weird dog in TN. (I realize these are very strange concerns to have, he’s a dog) But what if people laugh at him when he needs a coat to go out in the rain, because he refuses otherwise? Or what if I’m a weirdo for loving him as much as I do? I hope he doesn’t get too homesick. He’ll probably never come back to CA or see my sister’s dog or who knows if my family will ever come out to TN, so he may never see them again either…it’s just weird. I hope he’ll be happy in TN. I’ll be there, and he’s pretty happy when he’s with me, so it would make sense for him to be happy.

One thing’s for sure, life’s an adventure.

I’m glad I’m getting to embrace it. 🙂

Piercing Has, Tubing Death

Two of my top searches here. Rather odd if you ask me, but whatever floats your boat.

I have been wanting to blog for a while now, but I just haven’t created the time for it. I’m not entirely sure what I’d like to say. Over the last few weeks I’ve been contemplating what this blog is…it’s not a health blog, it’s not a sports blog, it’s a me blog…not that I know exactly what that means.

I guess on the topic of piercings, I’ll go with my year in retrospect and hopes for the next.

I turned 25 on March 12th, officially definitely mid-twenties, officially uncareered, unindependantly housed, uneducated…all those good things lol.

24th Year

March – I think I had my last three wisdom teeth out in March. Did I have my nose pierced at 23 or 24? Went to Southern CA. Met George (yay DOC meetups). Hung out with Liz…haven’t seen her since. 😦 Hospital visit #1 of the year. Embarrassing birthday celebration. Discovered the world’s best medication…Ondansetron ODT – AMAZING anti-nausea med.

April – Visited my grandma in AZ, hadn’t seen her in nearly a year. Finally got my side tattoo, it’s a pine tree. It took about four hours…SO painful, my others were not…ribs hurt! Moved to Idaho. Hospital visit #2, after my first day on the job, walked 3mi (I think) to the hospital at 1-2A and stayed two full days.

May – Played with axes and crosscut saws. Got my WFR certification. Played in the snow. Started working toward the end of the month. Started my, I think, third round of antibiotics since April.

June – Worked in the forest!!!! First anesthesia experience, first surgery, lost my tonsils. Also lost my nipple piercings – I had to take out all my piercings for the surgery and was too sore and distracted to put my nipple piercings back in. My dad visited me in Idaho to drive me to and from the hospital and a couple days of recovery. I think I watched/bought more movies, watched more TV series during recovery than I had in a year! I called my mother in tears more than once in pain.

July – Tonsil wound got infected…more antibiotics, more pain medication. Worked in the sun daily…in a chair. Worked on environmental non-profit stuff (a ton of fun). After the pain subsided a bit, I started taking forest/river walks in hopes of re-joining the field. Had a brief Grave’s disease scare. Congratulated on my diabetes management (I miss my MT endo)…(actually I miss most of this stuff, not glad it happened, but I miss it anyway…making me tear up…stupid emotions lol) Brief scare about blood in my urine. Tonsils were cleared. By this point I was WAY out of shape…being sick sucks.

August – Almost ready to join the field…only to get sick. Final trip to the hospital…as an admitted patient. Surprise problem, that would require specialists. Could go to Hamilton, MT for at least one of the specialists…3.5hours away. None of the tests for “wilderness” illnesses came back positive, so their best guesses were Crohn’s (winner, winner lobster dinner…if I liked lobster). UC, or maybe celiac. Realized it was time to call it a day…boss & I decided it was best I go back to CA; I wasn’t working and was going to need to be running more tests and seeing more doctors…it just made sense to be in CA. Parents drove up with my dog to help move me back. Visited Janelle (!!!!) and my aunt and uncle in Ogden, UT. Was heartbroken.

September – Doctor visits, feeling and being sick, trying to go to school, occasionally working for my dad’s work, sleeping, sweatpant wearing…overall not handling everything very well.

October – Official Crohn’s diagnosis (yay?), was happy to have answers. Start the adventure of finding the right medication regime. Got a CGM…LOVE my Dexom! Finish working for my dad, his company merged at the end of the month. More feeling crappy. Sleeping, trying to work, trying to go to school, etc.

November – Drop out of school (medical reasons). Attempt at the SCD diet…didn’t go well…used too much almond flour. More feeling sick, sleeping, etc. Looking for a job. Highlighted my hair. Thanksgiving meal planning…was awkward.

December – 2weeks after I highlighted my hair I dyed it dark, dark brown with some red highlights. Christmas. My mother started paying me to leave the house. She also had a stroke. Family paid me to stay home from vacation…sounds worse than it was: I wasn’t going to go so they paid me to watch the dogs. To be honest, I don’t really know what else happened.

January – Thought about returning to beauty school, but that didn’t work out (like so much else over the last year it seems lol). Started school again. Kind of got the medication regime figured out. Had an at least 5 trip root canal/tooth pulling, I don’t recommend that either. Felt really good about things getting better…and me getting better.

February – Made it just over 6months without a trip to the hospital…turns out I had kidney stones. Surgery #2 for the year…and for my life. Peed blood, peed blue and finally peed normal again. Had a stint put in (while under anesthesia) and pulled out (while awake)…I don’t recommend getting one of those. Recovery sucked. It hurt to move, pee, walk…anything. Got a job!!!! The surgery happened my second week of work and I had to take a whole week off. Thankfully they were really nice about it. Fell behind in school. My sister got a dog…a 10month old Husky, Kaya…I’m now her nanny.

March – My mother and sister threw me a surprise party, that I demanded not be a surprise. It takes a lot of planning to prevent me from getting sick. School graciously allowed me to drop my classes without Ws again, due to the surgery. (WAY annoying…it could be a whole post all on its own)

So, not many tattoos or piercings. I’d like to get my nipples re-pierced, but when I have more money and can come up with a good time to have them pierced. I’d like another tattoo or two, but I can’t exactly figure out what I want…and I also need more money before that becomes a good idea.

I was really hoping 2011 would be hospital visit free. Maybe I can just hope for a hospital visit free 25th year.

I’d like to be able to stay in school long enough to actually finish something. I’d like to move out…I have doubts that’ll happen by the time I’m 26 (a little sad :-/), but I’d like to be kind of close to that happening. I’d like to feel normal more days than I feel sick. I’d like to be productive, I’d like to feel like I’m getting somewhere.

I don’t know, I don’t think I want anything too complicated. If I could have my health and life back, I’d be okay with the rest of the shit life throws my way. Maybe I wouldn’t be okay immediately, but I’d get there.

Not having my health at 25 makes me feel all sorts of ways. Angry, sad, hurt, disappointed…maybe I’ll post about it soon.

But, really, Year 25, please grant me a year of health.

Just Because There Needs to Be Happy Here

Idaho Falls Zoo, I think this was the mom watching her two babies play in the sun

I really loved visiting this zoo. Firstly, because I love zoos. Secondly, because they trust their visitors to not be complete jackasses and try to go play in the animals enclosures, so you get to stand closer. Thirdly, I think it was all of $5/person to visit. Fourthly, it’s the last place I stopped in Idaho before leaving…which isn’t terribly happy, but the event was happy.